As a coach, one of the refrains I hear from both clients and prospective clients all the time is, “I want to advance in my role” or “I am hoping for a promotion,” or “I want to move into leadership.” This is usually followed by, “…but I just don’t know how to make that clear and be more noticed.”
During coaching, coachees are encouraged to take a realistic look at themselves, their own behavior and their various roles in the world, usually putting much focus on their role at work. In fact, Emotional Self-Awareness, one of the core EQ competencies, asserts that you can’t really be fully self-aware without an understanding of how you are perceived by others. So, when it comes to “getting noticed,” it certainly pays to take a good hard look at how those who have some impact on your destiny perceive you.
Another EQ competency that is significant here is that of “Influence.” Influence falls under the “Relationship Management” heading when discussed in the context of EQ. Influence is generally described as the ability to have impact on, engage, convince or persuade others in order to gain their support. There are times when a person can have the capacity to influence organically, most especially when their talents or subject-matter knowledge is so extremely apparent that their opinions and convictions are consistently sought by others.
For most of us, though, Influence is something that we need to pay attention to and work for. The promotion or advancement a person may seek is not going to happen unless they can influence their superiors that they deserve it. But it doesn’t end there. If a person is fortunate enough to earn an advancement, they still must have the capacity to influence their peers and their team members. The capacity to influence doesn’t just come along with a shiny new title; it needs to be developed and cultivated constantly in order to establish respect and authority, and without it, success is much more difficult, if not impossible to come by.
In his book, “The Platinum Rule: Discover the Four Basic Business Personalities and How They Can Lead You to Success,” Dr. Tony Alessandra posits that if we can learn how others prefer to be communicated to, if we can speak to others in ways that they are comfortable listening, if we can sell to others in ways that they like to buy, or if we can teach others in ways that they like to learn, we hold the keys to, not necessarily creating Influence, but certainly enhancing, improving and accelerating it. Thus, Dr. Alessandra recasts the Golden Rule, “do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” and upgrades it to what he calls the Platinum Rule: “do unto others as they’d like done unto them.” The very popular DISC Assessment is a highly effective tool that can be used to learn how to develop and hone the skills for successful implementation of The Platinum Rule. I’ll be discussing DISC and The Platinum Rule in more depth in future posts.
Aside from focusing and improving on our own communication skills, what are some of the other ways in which someone can gain Influence and get noticed at their place of work? I’ve assembled a few suggestions here that may inspire those who seek advancement and are wondering what more they can do to help their chances of getting noticed and being considered for that sought after promotion.
· Trust, integrity and authenticity are paramount. Crack open any book on successful leadership or team building, and you most likely won’t get through the first chapter without reading about the importance of trust as a foundation for everything a team undertakes. In a business context, trust quite often equates to vulnerability, and the sense that one can be open about uncertainty, mistakes or challenges and not be torn apart by “untrustworthy” colleagues. It means that when a colleague opens up to you, you offer support instead of criticism, thoughtful feedback instead of detached indifference, and most importantly, empathy and compassion. Your integrity is your single most valuable asset and once someone perceives you as disingenuous or inauthentic, it is very difficult to recover. So be sure to bring your full, authentic, honest self to work every day, and it will unquestionably be noticed. Oh, and avoid gossip at all costs. Gossiping, whether listening or speaking, is the swiftest way to become untrustworthy. It can ruin your career. Beware.
Your integrity is your single most valuable asset and once someone perceives you as disingenuous or inauthentic, it is very difficult to recover.
· Speak up! Let’s face it, the world rewards extroverts. The “go-getter,” the “natural networker,” and the “front and center” person who is never afraid to share their thoughts or opinions in meetings is admired, even coveted, for having great entrepreneurial spirit and motivation and the courage to speak their mind. If that’s not you, and if you have a preference for introversion (like me) there are other ways in meetings to get a word in edgewise that won’t turn your stomach and make your heart race as if you’re jumping off a cliff. The simplest thing to do is to ask a question. Your question should demonstrate curiosity and relevance and it should be clear that you’re not asking it just so your voice gets heard. If you can’t think of a good question on the subject matter at hand, then ask about next steps or follow up. It might be a good opportunity to briefly summarize your understanding of matters, clarify next steps for yourself and others and help the meeting result in specific actions and accountabilities – the sure signs of good leadership.
· Listen at the right level. Many people are familiar with the 3 levels of listening. In the most basic terms, Level 1 is listening while still having your own internal dialogue going on in your brain and when your engagement in the conversation is fairly low. Level 2 is listening with more focus and connection to the other person as your conversation evolves more deeply. It’s when the rapport takes off and everyone involved is really paying attention. Level 3 is when you deliberately “listen for” or observe meta-signals, such as facial expressions, posture, tone of voice, pace and intensity. Remember that when conversation reaches this level, your relationships have great potential to advance and your opportunity to build trust expands. Don’t let those moments pass you by.
· Listen with the right mindset. There are two mindsets with which we can approach a discussion: as a “learner” or as a “judger.” Most of us default to “judger,” but actively and consciously trying to keep ourselves in our “learner” mindset can have tremendous benefit. As a “judger,” our conversations can become rife with blame, defensiveness, protectiveness and fear of differences that can yield unproductive debate and “either/or” reasoning. As a “learner,” our conversations can take on new meaning and provide potential for more productive outcomes. When we learn, it’s natural and expected to be curious, question assumptions, see great possibilities and have dialogues with emphasis on facts, feelings and meaning. Questions are viewed as questions and not criticism. Answers are meant to inform and instruct, not defend or deflect. Being a “learner” means that you are both respected and respectful. It taps into our natural needs to be helpful and united in purpose. No matter where you are in the organization, from CEO downward, approaching discussions with a learner mindset will help you represent as your best self, build your brand and get noticed.
· Contribute. Unquestionably, doing exceptional work is important in both retaining your job and earning the respect of others. If you’re seeking to advance, though, your contributions at work must absolutely go above and beyond the call of duty. In his book, “Blink,” Malcolm Gladwell references the French term “coup d’oeil,” which means the “power of the glance.” He attributes this capacity to military generals who look at the battlefields they find themselves on and can nearly immediately assess, make sense and plan their moves. It is the innate understanding of what is needed, what is missing, and what lies ahead. At work, you can and should demonstrate your own “coup d’oeil” by identifying and communicating strategic opportunities to advance the mission and offering to own some or all of the way forward. Leaders aren’t identified by volunteering for envelope stuffing. They are identified through their ability to understand what is at stake today, and to demonstrate a practical, strategic and balanced understanding of what is important in the long run, and then to become a part of attaining those goals.
· Come with solutions. We’ve all heard of it or experienced it: the boss who you approach with a problem who responds with, “don’t come to me with problems, come to me with solutions.” As cliché as it may sound, there is a great deal of truth in that mantra. No good leader should ever expect that employees can shake a solution to every problem out of their sleeves. But what a good leader will appreciate is someone who shows up with, at bare minimum, an approach towards a solution. Quite often, this approach may yield more questions than answers: What additional information is needed? Who should be involved? Who can be effective in a collaborative effort? What are the stakes and risks inherent in each approach? Demonstrate that you’ve thought things through on your own and show off your ability to grasp and discover ways to answer such questions and ultimately help resolve problems.
· Teach something. There are opportunities to teach at work every single day. If you’re not comfortable lecturing a conference room full of people, then look for opportunities to help someone who is junior to you. Or no matter how busy your day is or how much you’ve got on your mind, try to extend a helping hand to a colleague. Consider how approachable you are and make sure you are sending the right signals to those who may seek your help. See someone struggling with an Excel spreadsheet formula? Offer your guidance. If someone approaches you because they need help grokking a technical concept, grab a dry-erase marker and make the effort to help them understand without condescension. Teaching doesn’t need to be an hours-long affair. Sometimes people will notice and remember the smallest things. The lessons are: (from above) be a learner, and (from here) also be a teacher.
· Watch, listen and learn. Is there a leader at your company who you respect and admire? Keep your eye on them. Watch, listen and learn. Enough said.
These are just a few suggestions on how to advance in your career. Enhancing your EQ competencies, such as Influence, can help you move along in the right direction. But understanding the skills is not enough. You need to find a way to put your own personal stamp on how you apply these to everyday situations. Be yourself, keep a positive outlook, be collaborative, dependable and trustworthy, think strategically and share your best ideas. Be a helpful resource to people. It may not happen overnight, but if you bring these attitudes and perspectives to work with you every day, people will take notice.
What are some of your thoughts or ideas about how to stand out at work? Please share them!
